The Vomit Behind The Tree: Forgotten For Good Reason
So if you come by here often enough, you probably think that because I constantly give high scores to everything that everything I come across blows my mind. Yes, I’m just that fucking shallow. Actually, I typically pass over dozens of records that either don’t impress me enough or flat-out disgust me. Well today, I’ve decided to talk about those forgettable pieces of crap for my own personal enjoyment. You’ll have to forgive me if they’re shorter and snarkier than usual. You may also notice that I’ve changed the color of my scores from red to puke green. This is to symbolize the vomit they’ve each managed to induce in my throat. Enjoy.
Justice: Audio, Video, Disco– You know, its fitting that they’ve started to play their songs in hockey arenas now… this entire album sounds like a tv lead-in for a hockey game. Whoever thought that 41mins of shitty 70s guitar solos with occasional beats would make great listening ought to be shot in the face for allowing this to get out. What a fucking boring-ass, headache-inducing disappointment…1.3/10
Cave: Neverendless– The reason I downloaded this was because a review a guy left on iTunes said,’…it’s the most creative music out there today’. No really, go look for yourself. Someone actually said that about this. It makes me wonder what the hell people are listening to that they’re so easily impressed… either that or the guitarist from the band wrote it. Either way, this is simply jam-band bullshit. Nothing more. But hey, I suppose if you’re easily impressed by phasers on guitars and long songs that never go anywhere, look no further! At least they don’t lie to you in the title. Fuck, they just say it outright… although they did leave out Bullshit, so… 3.0/10
Mates of State: Mountaintops– Man, what the hell happened to these guys? At first, they really weren’t any good, but they were incredibly talented and it was only a matter of time before they had a breakout album. Who knew that it would happen on their 4th album? The problem is, they’d consistently gotten better each album until then and since blowing up, they’ve put out these boring, uninspiring pieces of trash. Now this: Another boring, uninspiring piece of trash. Hey, at least you know what to expect on their next album…4.6/10
[the] Caseworker: Letters From The Coast– Pinback. This is what happens when a band likes another band who is popular for some reason so much that they imitate them exactly. If you like Pinback for some reason, I’d imagine you might like this… or be insulted by it, whichever. I don’t, so unless you like songs that last 3.5mins that don’t have more than 3 or 4 chords each, I’d pass on this. To me, Pinback is one of the most overrated bands ever and I’m sure [the] Caseworker will also try to ride the coattails of that popular, albeit tedious idea. And another thing– what the fuck is with this whole ‘[the]‘ thing? Its as annoying to type as it is to read. I mean, come… on…3.7/10